Choosing the Present: A Journey from Confinement to Peace

I recently spent an afternoon reading through a new set of reflections from another student—let’s call him M.—who is working through the Path of Freedom curriculum while in prison.

There is a specific kind of quiet that happens when you read words written from inside a cell, especially when those words are as vulnerable as these. M. writes about a life that was once "pulverized" by arrest and isolation, and a body that was literally breaking under the weight of "unwillingness to let feelings leave."

But what I found in these pages wasn't a story of defeat. It was a story about the "Gap"—that tiny, world-changing space between a trigger and a reaction.

The Anatomy of the "Gap"

M. reflects on a time he was asked to do something inappropriate just to feel "acceptable." At the time, he didn't have the tools to pause. He describes the aftermath: lost trust, lost friends, and a heavy sense of shame.

Now, he’s learning to find the "brakes."

He shares a story about a conflict in the showers. Another inmate was rude to him, and M.’s old habit was to "stew," play the victim, and ignore the person for days. But this time, he looked closer. He realized the other man was just having a bad morning.

"I realize so much of what happens with others comes from something they are dealing with. His reactions were his, Not mine."

Leaning Into the Pain

One of the most striking parts of M.'s reflection is how he deals with physical suffering. He suffers from chronic back pain—a "large rectangle across his lower back." Instead of resisting it, he used a 27-minute meditation to "lean in."

He gave the pain a shape, a texture (bumpy), and even a color (red). By stopping the fight against the pain, the intensity actually subsided. He realized that for years, his anxiety and nightmares had manifested as diabetes and high blood pressure because he wouldn't let the emotions pass through him.

Stepping Off the Drama Triangle

M. admits that his past was defined by the Drama Triangle—constantly shifting between being the Victim, the Rescuer, and the Persecutor. He realized he was trying to "rescue" his cellmate by giving unsolicited advice, only to become the "victim" when the advice wasn't followed, eventually turning into the "persecutor" by saying offensive things.

Now, he’s reaching for the Empowerment Triangle.

• Instead of a Rescuer, he is becoming a Coach who listens.

• Instead of a Victim, he is becoming a Creator who sets healthy boundaries.

• Instead of a Persecutor, he is becoming a Challenger who meets people where they are.

The "Unenforceable Rule"

There is a beautiful, raw moment where M. laughs at his own "unenforceable rule": Everyone must like me. He acknowledges that this expectation has caused him a lifetime of heartache, leading him to want to "give everything away" just to feel safe. Letting go of that rule is his path to true friendship and self-respect.

A New World

M.’s world as he knew it ended with his arrest. He describes himself as "alone," with only his dog, Charro, and one faithful friend who refused to leave his side. But in that emptiness, he found Buddhism.

"Buddhism saved me. Through meditation I accepted love for myself but also love for fellow inmates & staff... Every moment is new & peace can exist, if we choose."

He is no longer a victim of his circumstances. He is a "Creative Learner," using straw breathing and mindfulness as a "brand new set of brakes" to navigate a world that—while still behind bars—is finally starting to feel free.

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Inspired by M.'s transformation? Our work at the Prison Mindfulness Institute provides the "brakes" many people need to change their lives. Learn how you can help support this inner work.