From Reactivity to Reflection: One Man's Journey with Navigating Conflict
- PMI Staff
- Oct 13
- 2 min read
“Not every negative action deserves a reaction.” After years in prison, Marshall learned this—a truth we all confront.
Building on this realization, Marshall, in his reflections on the Navigating Conflict workbook, identifies frustration as the trigger that frequently propels him toward conflict. “Lately,” he writes, “I noticed that someone could ask you a question, and then when you give them an answer, they proceed to debate you… and that frustrates me.” Irritation builds. Rather than letting it boil over, he’s learning to pause, observe, and choose a different response.
He recalled a prison job assignment where a higher-up called the workers “fools.” Marshall replied, “I'm no fool. Watch your mouth.” He lost his job but kept his integrity: “Just because I'm incarcerated don't make me a fool. It makes me someone who made a mistake and learned from it.”
Now, Marshall better understands anger. As he puts it,
“Holding on to anger or resentment is unhealthy and childish.” Previously, he explains, “I held on to anger for so many years that I forgot the reason I was angry in the first place.”
Letting go, he discovered, is freedom.
He’s also become more deliberate in how he confronts disrespect. He explains, “Every day, there are situations where a guard may be having a bad day and try his best to shout expletives, name-call, or nitpick… I keep walking, stay humble, and don’t react.” That takes strength—especially, as Marshall puts it, where “reputation is everything.”
Continuing this shift, perhaps most moving is his transition from a reactive to a reflective stance in conversations that could easily escalate. When a cellmate wanted to debate religion, the conversation quickly turned tense. But Marshall caught it: “I decided to use my mindfulness of thoughts to end the conversation and avoid conflict.” He understood that “he has his view, and I have mine.”
Marshall’s story shows that responding to conflict with patience, calm, and clarity leads to freedom and growth. 'What I practice gets stronger,' he says, as he chooses peace with each mindful moment. His mantra, 'Pause, Choose, Grow,' encapsulates his journey, demonstrating that mindfulness transforms how he navigates challenges and fosters lasting growth and freedom.
Quotes shared from the voices within our programs—made possible by the generous support of PMI donors.