Learning to Hold His Seat: A Prisoner’s Break from Trauma and Generational Cycles

Discover how one incarcerated man transformed trauma into healing through the Path of Freedom—an emotional intelligence course behind bars.

This isn’t theoretical suffering, and yet, through the Path of Freedom, participants begin learning how to sit with sensations without getting overwhelmed.

At just 21 years old, he was sentenced to 26 years in prison.

His crime, he admits, came from a life that was never really his to choose. From a young age, he was “groomed into the gang lifestyle.” Raised in a family where the streets were t`he only school and survival the only curriculum, he said, “I was stuck in the destructive cycle because that’s all I ever knew.”

But then something unexpected happened behind bars. He was introduced to the Path of Freedom curriculum, a mindfulness-based emotional intelligence course designed specifically for incarcerated individuals. Through this course, he began to rewrite his life.

“The educational tool I learned was Path of Freedom—a roadmap, a guide that helps me understand my thoughts, feelings and actions, and how each one is connected, leading to the other.”

From Impulse to Insight

One of his first realizations came while reflecting on a common trigger: someone touching his mail. He reacted swiftly, snatching it away and responding with anger. But as he worked through the course, he began to see that his reaction wasn’t just about that moment. It was a learned pattern of defending territory, of surviving in a world that didn’t teach emotional regulation.

“It was practically the above tools that I could have used for effective communication and establishing healthy boundaries.”

He was learning to slow down, to notice the moment before reactivity. To breathe. To choose differently.

The Weight of Trauma—and the Seed of Forgiveness

Some of his most profound lessons didn’t come from prison interactions, but from memories of home. One memory was excruciating—when his son’s mother, in a meth-induced episode, began physically lashing out at him. The scene triggered a tidal wave of pain, not just from her behavior, but from echoes of his mother’s addiction.

“This just added suffering and really cut deep… just as my mother had done.”

This isn’t theoretical suffering. This is the kind that burrows into your nervous system, becomes the background hum of your daily life. And yet, through the Path of Freedom, he began learning how to sit with sensations without getting overwhelmed. He began to see that even pain, even grief, is impermanent.

“With my new understanding of the concept of impermanence… I just have to go through the motions.”

Recognizing the Patterns, Reclaiming His Power

Through the curriculum’s chapter on the Drama Triangle, he reflected on the different roles he played throughout his life—Persecutor, Victim, Rescuer—and how they shaped his identity.

“I would fall into the rescuer role anytime it involved my little brother… I think if I didn’t baby and protect my little bro so much, he would have learned responsibility and accountability.”

He also admitted to lashing out in relationships, attempting to control his son’s mother even while incarcerated, believing, at the time, that dominance was a form of care. Now, he sees clearly that these were survival strategies gone sideways.

“There is absolutely nothing I can do [from prison], and I feel extremely powerless… I could have taken responsibility for abandoning them and getting incarcerated… I believe if I would have applied ownership and responsibility… I could have worked to make amends.”

This is not surface-level change. This is soul-deep reckoning.

Learning to Trust, Learning to Love

In one of the most tender sections of his reflection, he shares the difficulty of trusting others, especially his now-wife. Every time he starts to let her in, fear rushes in: the fear of being betrayed, cheated on, or abandoned. So he pushes her away.

“I didn’t want to grow up lonely, isolated. But with confidence and self-awareness, I know I am capable of trust and love… now that we are married.”

It’s a stunning expression of vulnerability. And it points to the real work of transformation: not just learning to avoid fights or control emotions but also how to open the heart despite the risks.

The Power of Pause in Conflict

He described a tense interaction with a new cellmate who acted out aggressively—his first reaction was to prepare for violence. But something in him paused. He applied breathing techniques, gave himself space, and later found out the man was grieving the recent death of his mother.

“I could have had a different outcome… stepping off the ladder would have helped me develop empathy and patience.”

Even in the most charged moments, he was beginning to see behind the mask of aggression into the pain underneath—not just in others, but in himself.

Letting Go of the Story, Gaining Freedom

He closed his reflections by returning to one of the most challenging chapters in his story: the relationship with his son’s mother, their break-up, and the resentment he carried for years. He confessed to the long list of expectations he placed on her, many of them impossible for anyone to meet, especially someone left alone to parent while he was incarcerated.

“If I would have let that go, I wouldn’t have been trapped in my own over-controlling ways… I would have been more free.”

A New Direction

Of all the lessons he studied, two stood out most: the 12 Choices of an Empowered Person and the Ladder of Inference. These two tools helped him take ownership of his emotions and assumptions and gave him language to step into a new kind of maturity.

“When I started to work on my transformation… it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. A breath of fresh air.”

Jason’s story is still unfolding. But what’s clear is that he’s no longer just reacting—he’s choosing. He’s learning to slow down, stay present, and repair instead of repeat.

And perhaps most important of all—he’s beginning to believe that he can be a father, a husband, and a man who brings healing instead of harm.

This story reflects one participant’s journey through the Path of Freedom program. Names and locations have been changed to respect privacy.If you’d like to support our work or learn more about our curriculum, please get in touch with us or explore our programs.