Updated: May 26, 2020
PMI trained facilitators are leading groups around the U.S.. Here are a few samples of their experiences.
Franklin County, MA
From the facilitator: They had some good questions, about applying the drama triangle. I didn’t quite know how to answer. “Isn’t it important to be in the victim role with your lawyer in the rescuer role when you are navigating your trial?” “What about when other men front and you need to show that you don’t take shit from others?”
From the facilitator: Interesting to me was one man’s observation that the Rescuer might be motivated by guilt. I’d never considered this before, but it’s obvious in my own life. It led me to give more thought to my roles as an Ally as compared to being in Solidarity. So I’m learning about myself through this work.
From the facilitator: It is somewhat challenging to make the huge class feel like a safe space to process such a heavy topic.
From the participants:
“I ask who is doing what to me…I see that people make mistakes. If I can’t forgive you, I can’t forgive myself.”
“AA has this idea about resentments. The Number one reason for relapse is resentments. I do this thing where I write on paper what I done to you or someone else. I then throw it away. It’s a great feeling to throw away a resentment. It does work.”
“I meditate in my cell at night and find it calming and and a positive experience.”
“These handouts help me see that I am not aware of the needs of my wife when i talk to her on the phone.”
“I am feeling that I am becoming more mindful as I was in situation on the pod where someone said something that got me upset but I decided to not react and just watch myself and them.”
“I started thinking positive things about myself and others.”
“I choose to see possibilities instead of being down on myself.”
“Man needs to shape his destiny it starts with one action.”
Rhode Island High Security
From the facilitator: One guy said that he likes mindfulness practices, but he couldn’t get behind repeating the phrases for a challenging person. Even though I suggested choosing someone who we are experiencing just some slight challenges around, it seems some folks who fall in that category for him are more in the extremes and trigger stronger feelings. He said “people I have problems with…I don’t want them to be safe. I want them to suffer. I hope they die of ass cancer & shit on themselves for the rest of their life. My brother has cancer & if that doesn’t kill him I will.” I asked others if they had trouble with this category, and they said yes (though did not have as strong a reaction). I do think he is being authentic and I also wonder if he is trying to get somewhat of a rouse out of me – e.g. he also said “when someone trips & falls it brings me joy” – eliciting laughter from some. It seems there may be a quality of trying to entertain in his comments, and also a quality of honesty. Someone else in the class said they appreciated his honesty. Challenging but helpful to remember how powerful that category can be.